Hello,
When you are launching the game with my.Com launcher, can you enter the game (play button available) ?
If you can, then launch the game, choose to go back to launcher screen (a button with a left arrow, on the bottom left corner of the interface/characters selection), and choose the settings button. You will be able to really decide your upload and download rate. Choose the lowest possible rate for your "Upload" (16ko/sec).
Changing setting in my.com launcher doesn't seem to work fine. It's more effective with ingame settings.
You don't need to actually log into the game, you just need to access the logging screen (with the floating boat).
Another solution would be to search for the .torrent files in your already created "Allods Online" folders on your computer. So you can use a bittorent client to download the game and have a better control of the settings and upload rate.
Good luck.